QUESTION: I have a baby. I also enjoy bum-wine. Is the Freaker for me?
ANSWER: A match made in heaven, gumdrop. One-Size-Fits-All is no fib or fable. Your little one’s sippy cup can be just as freaked as your forty ounces of Colt. And also your mom’s wine and your kid sister’s Nalgene and your dad’s beer and the vase you sometimes regretably send flowers to your ex in.
QUESTION: I put my Freaker on a fire hydrant. (It was AMAZING!) But now the little guy is a little flabby. Can I shrink my Freaker back down to it’s original size?
ANSWER: The consequences of freaking a fire hydrant are slim to none! Freakers are machine washable!! Just throw it in the next time you run out of clean underwear… and WAH-LAH!
QUESTION: Does the Freaker really insulate or are you just trying to get in my pants?
ANSWER: It really insulates! We promise! …Are those new shoes? You smell great.
QUESTION: I heard through the grapevine that you have a travelling party-house boxtruck keeping the spirit of Freak alive via grilled-cheese parties. Is this true?! CAN I HAS?!
ANSWER: All the rumors are true! The freak-mobile is not currently on tour, but we’re always open to bribes, babes & blackmail if you want us at your upcoming event, grilling you with our cheese! Shoot us an email! Let’s chat!